Meeting today without mistaking it for forever, making room for what gives us life, and drawing on wisdom beyond ourselves.
MONTHLY REMINDERReader, today may feel heavy, but today is not forever. Some days seem to take up a lot of space. Pain, fear, uncertainty, exhaustion or grief can make the present feel larger than the future. When we are living through something difficult, it is easy to mistake the intensity of a moment for permanence. But a difficult day is still a day. It can be painful and consuming without telling us what comes next. Life moves, bodies change, circumstances shift, feelings soften, answers arrive, strength returns in forms we may not yet recognise. We do not always know how or when things will change, but we can resist turning today into a verdict on the rest of our lives. REFLECTION PROMPTS:
OCTOBER'S REFLECTION PROMPTIn October, I will make more room for what gives me life. I will honour this by… Life can become crowded with obligation, worry, routine and the things that need our attention. In the middle of all that, what nourishes us can easily become an afterthought. This month is an invitation to notice what brings energy, meaning, pleasure, curiosity or ease, and to give those things a little more space. What gives us life will look different from person to person, but recognising it is often the first step towards making room for it. 2 QUOTES WORTH PONDERING
“It is impossible for you to go on as you were before, so you must go on as you never have.”
Source: Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar.
REFLECTION PROMPTS:
2. Burkinabè spiritual teacher and author Sobonfu Somé on where we might turn for wisdom, guidance and support: “If it is difficult for you to go to an immediate ancestor, you can go to what we call, ‘the pool of the ancestor.’ The pool of the ancestor has nothing to do with your genealogy…”
Source: Accessing the Wisdom of Our Ancestors, interview with Randy Peyser.
Somé goes on to describe this pool expansively: it may include ancestors outside our genealogy, people whose lives and courage continue to guide us, as well as trees, animals, rocks, rivers and mountains. REFLECTION PROMPTS:
COMING IN NOVEMBERIn November, I’ll be sharing my next essay, Singlehood, Men and Me. It explores the stories women inherit about love and partnership, the ways men and women can be differently prepared for intimacy, what happens when women become valued primarily for what they provide (I cover four functions), and what it can mean to choose singlehood as a full and meaningful life in its own right. At its heart, the essay is an inquiry into love, selfhood, grief, and the lives we build when we stop treating being chosen as the measure of a woman’s worth. NOW AVAILABLE
POPULAR IN SEPTEMBERYOUTUBE: Health Grief, Mortality and the Art of Participating in Life (a 17-minute watch)
PODCAST EPISODE 27: What's needed to begin and sustain healing? (a 2-minute listen)
INSTAGRAM (@rbccmnq) BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTHOctober is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, making this a timely moment to reconnect with your breast health. Becoming familiar with what is normal for you can help you notice changes early, and checking your breasts regularly is one simple way of staying attentive to your body. Awareness is not about living in fear of what you might find. It is about knowing your body, noticing when something changes, and seeking support when something does not feel right. You can learn the key signs and symptoms here. In August 2025, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I shared openly about it on Instagram – the loss, grief, trauma, inner-healing and self-care that comes with it – and from that tender space I created what I needed most: a reflective journal to walk me through the first 30 days. 30 Days Through Breast Cancer is available as a free resource for anyone affected. Please feel welcome to pass it on to those who may need it. Thankfully my diagnosis was early, and my focus now is on ongoing care, recovery, and deep listening to my body. You can find more about my journey and resources on my breast cancer page. GENTLE REFLECTIONS FOR THOSE NAVIGATING HEALTH GRIEFHealth changes can alter the way we pay attention to our bodies. A sensation that might once have passed unnoticed can suddenly feel significant. We may become more observant, more cautious, more aware of what could go wrong. Some of that attentiveness can be protective, especially when our bodies have already surprised us once. But awareness and alarm are not the same thing. Staying connected to the body can also mean learning how to notice without immediately catastrophising, how to respond to genuine changes without treating every sensation as danger, and how to let the body be a place we inhabit rather than something we continually monitor for threat. Over time, the work may become learning how to live inside the body again with a little more trust, curiosity and ease. REFLECTION PROMPTS:
SPOTIFY PLAYLISTSSoul-stirring. Empowering. Wholesome. This one’s for the moments when you remember who you are. A musical exhale—part prayer, part power, part poetic awakening. Let it carry you into the marrow of your truth, especially on days when you forget how luminous you’ve always been.
Griefy. A playlist for the ache that won’t be rushed. 'Griefy' is a tender companion for the days when your heart feels too full, too empty, or both at once. These songs don’t try to fix it—they sit with you in the softness, the silence, the sacred unraveling.
SUBSCRIBER RESOURCESEssay and Reflection Prompts: When Abusers Die Essay and Reflective Practice: What Healing Really Looks Like + Secondary Losses and Grief Gains Racial Trauma and Grief – Reflective Journal Who do you know would benefit from or appreciate this content? Be sure to share this muse-letter with them by forwarding on this email. USEFUL LINKSLet's stay connected. Here's where else you can find me: Website | Podcast | Blog | Instagram | Recommended Reading List* You can view the muse-letter archive here. Not yet subscribed? You can sign up to this muse-letter here. New to the mailing list? You can view the archive of the first few editions here. About this muse-letter: You're receiving this email because you've subscribed to my mailing list. You'll typically receive an email from me once a month. Rarely will I send stand-alone emails about promotions, new products or services, and partnerships. Affiliate links within my emails are marked with an asterisk (*). Update your subscription preferences: You can unsubscribe from 'Reflect with Rebecca-Monique', or manage your subscriber profile via the respective links below. |
Rebecca-Monique (rbccmnq)
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MONTHLY REMINDER Reader, you do not have to heal perfectly to be healing well. We can sometimes treat healing as something to optimise, monitor, and master. Yet healing rarely unfolds in straight lines. It is interrupted by life, relationships, seasons, responsibilities, joy, exhaustion, and ordinary human messiness. Sometimes it looks like resting instead of journalling. Sometimes it looks like forgetting a practice and returning to it later. Sometimes it looks like getting frustrated,...