Making room for play, letting enough be enough, and embracing the days in between.
MONTHLY REMINDERReader, you don’t have to make someone the villain to remove them from your life. Sometimes we search for a dramatic reason to leave. One of the stories we often tell ourselves is that every ending requires someone to be wrong. Yet not every relationship ends because someone is cruel, abusive, or malicious. Relationships can be meaningful and still come to an end. Someone can have good qualities and still not be good for us. Sometimes values no longer align. Sometimes trust has eroded. Sometimes a pattern repeats too many times. Sometimes the relationship simply no longer allows either person to flourish. You are allowed to choose what is healthy for you without first proving that someone else is entirely at fault. REFLECTION PROMPTS:
AUGUST'S REFLECTION PROMPTIn August, I will let enough be enough. I will practise this by... There is a point where more stops being meaningful and starts becoming excess: more effort, more explanation, more productivity, more healing work, more certainty, more proof. August invites us to notice where we have already done enough, given enough, or understood enough. Letting enough be enough is a practice of restraint, trust, and recognising when something no longer needs to be pushed further. 2 QUOTES WORTH PONDERING
“Childhood may be defined as the age of play; therefore some children are never young, and some adults are never old.”
Source: Will Durant, Fallen Leaves: Last Words on Life, Love, War, and God (2014)
REFLECTION PROMPTS:
2. Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius on living one day at a time: “Do not disturb yourself by imagining your whole life at once.”
Source: Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (Book 8.36)
REFLECTION PROMPTS:
COMING IN SEPTEMBERThis September, I'll be publishing the essay: Diamonds and Dust: On Health Grief, Mortality and the Art of Participating in Life. It is the fourth essay I’ll be releasing this year from Daughter of the Soil, my anthology of reflective essays on grief, healing, womanhood and race. Written after my breast cancer diagnosis and ongoing treatment, this essay explores what illness interrupted, revealed and rearranged. It asks what happens when mortality moves from an abstract idea to a lived reality. How do we continue participating in life after it reminds us that it will one day end? In the essay, I write about health grief, the body, survivorship, post-traumatic integration, motherhood, uncertainty, meaning-making, and the subtle ways illness can reshape our relationship with time, beauty and being alive. Alongside these wider reflections, I share parts of my own experience of breast cancer, exploring what it means to come home to the body, live alongside uncertainty, and participate more fully in the life that remains. This essay is for anyone whose life has been disrupted by illness, loss or mortality. And for anyone wondering how we continue living, loving and creating while fear is still sitting beside us. NOW AVAILABLE
POPULAR IN JULYYOUTUBE: What Happens When the Person Who Harmed You Dies? (a 16-minute watch)
PODCAST EPISODE 94: Listen to this if you feel broken (a 2-minute listen)
INSTAGRAM (@rbccmnq) YOUR MONTHLY BREAST CANCER REMINDERThis is your gentle monthly reminder to check your breasts and stay connected to your body. Becoming familiar with what is normal for you can help you notice changes early. Paying attention to your health is an act of care, awareness, and advocacy for your future self. You can learn the key signs and symptoms here. In August 2025, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I shared openly about it on Instagram – the loss, grief, trauma, inner-healing and self-care that comes with it – and from that tender space I created what I needed most: a reflective journal to walk me through the first 30 days. 30 Days Through Breast Cancer is available as a free resource for anyone affected. Please feel welcome to pass it on to those who may need it. Thankfully my diagnosis was early, and my focus now is on treatment, healing, and deep listening to my body. You can find more about my journey and resources on my breast cancer page. GENTLE REFLECTIONS FOR THOSE NAVIGATING HEALTH GRIEFThere can come a point in a health journey where life begins to feel measured by checkpoints: appointments, scans, blood tests, results, anniversaries, follow-ups. We tell ourselves that once we reach the next milestone, we’ll finally exhale, make plans, or begin living fully again. Yet another checkpoint often appears. Part of health grief is learning how to live in the spaces between them. This month is an invitation to notice the life that exists in the meantime, and to remember that these in-between moments are not simply waiting rooms. They are part of your life, too. REFLECTION PROMPTS:
SPOTIFY PLAYLISTSSoul-stirring. Empowering. Wholesome. This one’s for the moments when you remember who you are. A musical exhale—part prayer, part power, part poetic awakening. Let it carry you into the marrow of your truth, especially on days when you forget how luminous you’ve always been.
Griefy. A playlist for the ache that won’t be rushed. 'Griefy' is a tender companion for the days when your heart feels too full, too empty, or both at once. These songs don’t try to fix it—they sit with you in the softness, the silence, the sacred unraveling.
SUBSCRIBER RESOURCESEssay and reflection prompts: When Abusers Die Essay and Reflective Practice: What Healing Really Looks Like + Secondary Losses and Grief Gains Racial Trauma and Grief – Reflective Journal Who do you know would benefit from or appreciate this content? Be sure to share this muse-letter with them by forwarding on this email. USEFUL LINKSLet's stay connected. Here's where else you can find me: Website | Podcast | Blog | Instagram | Recommended Reading List* You can view the muse-letter archive here. Not yet subscribed? You can sign up to this muse-letter here. New to the mailing list? You can view the archive of the first few editions here. About this muse-letter: You're receiving this email because you've subscribed to my mailing list. You'll typically receive an email from me once a month. Rarely will I send stand-alone emails about promotions, new products or services, and partnerships. Affiliate links within my emails are marked with an asterisk (*). Update your subscription preferences: You can unsubscribe from 'Reflect with Rebecca-Monique', or manage your subscriber profile via the respective links below. |
Rebecca-Monique (rbccmnq)
MONTHLY REMINDER Reader, you do not have to heal perfectly to be healing well. We can sometimes treat healing as something to optimise, monitor, and master. Yet healing rarely unfolds in straight lines. It is interrupted by life, relationships, seasons, responsibilities, joy, exhaustion, and ordinary human messiness. Sometimes it looks like resting instead of journalling. Sometimes it looks like forgetting a practice and returning to it later. Sometimes it looks like getting frustrated,...
MONTHLY REMINDER Reader, patterns are proof. When the same behaviour repeats, believe it once it becomes clear. We can spend a long time negotiating with what we already understand, hoping for a different outcome, a different explanation, or a different version of someone or something. Discernment asks us to pay attention to what is consistently true. REFLECTION PROMPTS: What have I already understood but not yet fully accepted? Where am I hoping for an exception instead of noticing the...
MONTHLY REMINDER Reader, you cannot expect people to be who they are not. Some grief comes from the gap between who we hoped someone would be and who they have shown themselves to be. Acceptance does not always mean approval; sometimes it means finally telling the truth without dressing it in potential. This month, may you release the exhausting labour of trying to make reality become more loving, available, honest, or capable than it is. REFLECTION PROMPTS: Where am I relating to someone’s...