Patterns and proof, noticing what's working, and facing what's true.
MONTHLY REMINDERReader, patterns are proof. When the same behaviour repeats, believe it once it becomes clear. We can spend a long time negotiating with what we already understand, hoping for a different outcome, a different explanation, or a different version of someone or something. Discernment asks us to pay attention to what is consistently true. REFLECTION PROMPTS:
JUNE'S REFLECTION PROMPTIn June, I will pay attention to what is quietly working. We often notice what is missing, difficult, or demanding our attention. Far less often do we pause to acknowledge what is already supporting us. A friendship that feels steady. A habit that has become easier. A boundary that is holding. A part of ourselves that is stronger than it once was. This month is an invitation to notice what is quietly working in your life and to give it the attention it deserves. 2 QUOTES WORTH PONDERING
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
Source: James Baldwin, As Much Truth as One Can Bear (1962)
REFLECTION PROMPTS:
2. Buddhist teacher and author Pema Chödrön on learning and life’s recurring lessons: “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
Source: Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart (1996)
REFLECTION PROMPTS:
COMING IN JULY – ESSAY: WHEN ABUSERS DIEThe third published essay from Daughter of the Soil: Reflective Essays on Grief, Healing, Womanhood, and Race, Volume 1 arrives in July. When Abusers Die explores the complicated grief that can follow the death of someone who harmed you. What happens when death ends the person, but not the wound? What happens when grief arrives tangled with relief, anger, guilt, longing, numbness, or the final loss of any hope that the relationship might one day have been different? This essay will make space for the grief that does not fit neatly into the stories we are usually told about mourning. It will explore abuse, absence, estrangement, forgiveness, the death of possibility, and the quiet permission to hold more than one truth at once. NOW AVAILABLE
POPULAR IN MAYYOUTUBE: Why Does Healing Feel Worse Before It Feels Better? (a 25-minute watch)
PODCAST EPISODE 65: Why your boundaries aren't working, and how to fix it. (a 2-minute listen)
INSTAGRAM (@rbccmnq) YOUR MONTHLY BREAST CANCER REMINDERThis is your gentle monthly reminder to check your breasts and stay connected to your body. Our bodies speak in many ways, and becoming familiar with what is normal for you can help you notice when something changes. Early detection saves lives, and paying attention to your health is an act of care toward your present and future self. You can learn the key signs and symptoms here. In August 2025 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I shared openly about it on Instagram – the loss, grief, trauma, inner-healing and self-care that comes with it – and from that tender space I created what I needed most: a reflective journal to walk me through the first 30 days. 30 Days Through Breast Cancer is available as a free resource for anyone affected. Please feel welcome to pass it on to those who may need it. Thankfully my diagnosis was early, and my focus now is on treatment, healing and deep listening to my body. You can find more about my journey and resources on my breast cancer page. GENTLE REFLECTIONS FOR THOSE NAVIGATING HEALTH GRIEFIllness can change our relationship with trust. We may find ourselves questioning our bodies, second-guessing symptoms, or feeling uncertain about what lies ahead. Trust, after a health challenge, is rarely restored all at once. More often, it is rebuilt through small acts of listening, responding, and staying present. This month is an invitation to consider what trust looks like now, not as it once was, but as it is becoming. REFLECTION PROMPTS:
SPOTIFY PLAYLISTSSoul-stirring. Empowering. Wholesome. This one’s for the moments when you remember who you are. A musical exhale—part prayer, part power, part poetic awakening. Let it carry you into the marrow of your truth, especially on days when you forget how luminous you’ve always been.
Griefy. A playlist for the ache that won’t be rushed. 'Griefy' is a tender companion for the days when your heart feels too full, too empty, or both at once. These songs don’t try to fix it—they sit with you in the softness, the silence, the sacred unraveling.
SUBSCRIBER RESOURCESEssay and Reflective Practice: What Healing Really Looks Like + Secondary Losses and Grief Gains Racial Trauma and Grief – Reflective Journal Who do you know would benefit from or appreciate this content? Be sure to share this muse-letter with them by forwarding on this email. USEFUL LINKSLet's stay connected. Here's where else you can find me: Website | Podcast | Blog | Instagram | Recommended Reading List* You can view the muse-letter archive here. Not yet subscribed? You can sign up to this muse-letter here. New to the mailing list? You can view the archive of the first few editions here. About this muse-letter: You're receiving this email because you've subscribed to my mailing list. You'll typically receive an email from me once a month. Rarely will I send stand-alone emails about promotions, new products or services, and partnerships. Affiliate links within my emails are marked with an asterisk (*). Update your subscription preferences: You can unsubscribe from 'Reflect with Rebecca-Monique', or manage your subscriber profile via the respective links below. |
Rebecca-Monique (rbccmnq)
MONTHLY REMINDER Reader, you cannot expect people to be who they are not. Some grief comes from the gap between who we hoped someone would be and who they have shown themselves to be. Acceptance does not always mean approval; sometimes it means finally telling the truth without dressing it in potential. This month, may you release the exhausting labour of trying to make reality become more loving, available, honest, or capable than it is. REFLECTION PROMPTS: Where am I relating to someone’s...
MONTHLY REMINDER Reader, small changes can still change a life. We often think change has to be dramatic to matter. A new job, a new city, a big decision, a clear turning point. But most lives are actually shaped by smaller shifts: a new habit, a boundary set, a conversation had, a walk taken, a decision made quietly, a way of thinking slowly changing. Never underestimate the direction of small changes; they are often how a life changes. REFLECTION PROMPTS: What small change has already made...
MONTHLY REMINDER Reader, you’re allowed to change your mind as you go. Changing your mind isn’t a failure of commitment or clarity. Often, it’s a sign of maturity. Of listening. Of responding to new information, shifting circumstances, or a deeper understanding of yourself. Growth, grief, and healing all ask for this kind of ongoing awareness; the ability to stay with something and to gently ask, is this still right for me now? In this instance, you're not being unanchored or impulsive, but...